Dear CML Supporters,
First time forum writer here. I'm 32, male and living in Bristol. I was diagnosed with CML in September of last year, which feels like ten years ago, but is actually a little over 6 months. I received Leukapheresis for the first two days (this was primarily down to a fertility issue so that my semen could be harvested for later IVF) and have since continued to respond well to Dasatinib on the Spirit 2 trial.
I have had OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) since I was a kid, so this has been a really difficult and anxious time. I would say that I've never been so scared in my life as I have at moments since my diagnosis.
Firstly I'd like to say that I've been so well taken care of at the Bristol Royal Infirmary Haemoatology Dept, and I have also been lucky enough to get counselling in the Dept. as well, which has made a huge difference. The loving response of my family and friends has been overwhelming and the patience and support of my wife have kept me on the right track at a time when I could easily have collapsed into negativity and paranoia.
I'm not really sure why I'm writing, except to say that this website has been a great help in me realising that I'm not alone, and that in fact I'm in very good company. I'm at a stage now where I feel like I can talk to people about this illness and my feelings about it, and I am also more focussed than ever on the fact that for me this illness is as much a blessing as it is a curse.
As others have commented here, there's never been a better time to get CML. It's so odd when people find out that I have this cancer, as thanks to the treatment I have put some weight back on and look like my old self. I feel more like me too, although as with most people with a potentially life-threatening illness, some days are better than others.
I guess that I'm at a stage to say to other people in a similar position that I know this disease puts a huge amount of pressure and strain on every element of one's life, but maybe it gives us all a special opportunity to look at the world and value our lives in a different way. I know that for me now every day contains at least one moment where I thank my stars for how fortunate I am- fotunate that I am responding to treatment; that I have great support; that I can still work and have a decent quality of life with great people about me and a wonderful wife.
And it comforts me to think that there are other people out there, such as readers of this forum, who may be thinking the same things about their lives. I hope that in the future I am able to share my thoughts and feelings with people here, and in turn that I can listen and support others.
With thanks & best wishes-
Adam
