thank you all for your ideas and thoughts about this subject. even the words used to describe an individuals willingness to embrace their therapy and be 'good' are rather proscriptive.
complience
adherance etc etc.
these words suggest an expectation of obedience to a regime and maybe some of us resent that expectation, even when we understand the possible risks of 'forgetting' too often.
i remember that after my sct i was required to take cyclosporin, amongst other drugs, for some time... this drug guards against rejection of the graft but it also has some side effects... t
he most visible of which is the fact that it causes the retention of facial hair and blocks natural shedding of that hair. so the sort of 'peach like' hair that women normally have on their face grows longer and longer. rather like angora...i was really aware of this and found it hard to cope with, expecially as i had no hair at all on the res of my head...
i think this had the effect of making me hate the cyclosporin capsules so much that i found it very difficult to swallow them at all, even though i knew i had to and that it was not forever.
i also started to imagine that they made me feel sick and became ever more sensitive to the smell of them- actually they didn't have any smell.
i took Glivec for over 3.5 years (and then again for 11 months after my sct)and forgot to take it only once (or maybe twice) but i now think that this more positive attitude may have been because my response rate was rather slow at first and it took around 18 months for me to get to CCR-
i was acutely aware of each drop in ph+ % over that time and knew i had to get as low as possible.
after the pcr's got to around 0.053% they did failed to get any lower, infact they started to rise little by little, which had the effect of my becoming even more motivated to take Glivec... even to take more in the hope that it would stop the increasingly obvious rise in bcr/abl levels.
so yes, i was motivated to take this drug every day... even though i hated the way i looked and hated the tiredness but i was overwhelmed with the desire to survive at all costs and i knew there was little else available at that time, apart from transplant.
reading kestral's account of rio's feelings makes me wonder how i would have felt if i had been diagnosed in a less agressive stage of the disease and had acheived ccr quickly and held consistantly low levels of bcr/abl.
i think it likely that by now i too would have started to experience difficulties with the daily routine.
i also feel it is probably a little hard for those of us who, back in 99-2000, were so excited about the revolution in therapy that Glivec represented, to imagine forgetting or even not wanting to take this life saving drug.
however, on an optimistic note i would say that things have moved on so much in the last few years and there are some exciting options opening up.
so kestral, maybe by the time rio is ready to strike out on his own, we will have a drug (or a combination of drugs and/or safer form of transplant) that means a 'cure' is more likely for a greater proportion of those of us unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with cml.
even though my disease bacame resistant to Glivec (Dasatinib was not available at that point in summer 2003) i had a sibling donor which meant i was able to take part in a study of reduced intensity sct/glivec/DLI and that combined option was right for me.
hopefully this study will prove to be successful for more and more of us- the protocol is now being used in 4 centres around the UK and prof. holyoake will present the published data at ASH.
once again, thanks to david, paul and kestral for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. your views will really help me with my presentation at the EBMT meeting in March 08.
Sandy ;o)